and this is why, you people put a smile on my face :D
♥azie
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♥writepastesmile
♥zen
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♥derek
♥eldrid
♥ewen
♥grace
♥holqa
♥honeystar
♥jasminechye
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♥joevan
♥jolene
♥miza
♥pamela
♥persie
♥shawn
♥sue
♥suyi
♥thane
♥tpsu
♥tracy
♥vanessa
♥writepastesmile
♥zen
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Monday, November 23, 2009
detached.
well.
i'm wondering if i'm too sensitive.
yet i hate to feel like i'm being avoided. ):
then again, i had a bad saturday.
i just wish i can really get it over with.
it's so hard to even be normal.
):
i'm wondering if i'm too sensitive.
yet i hate to feel like i'm being avoided. ):
then again, i had a bad saturday.
i just wish i can really get it over with.
it's so hard to even be normal.
):
Friday, November 20, 2009
quotes and experiences.
something that branda blogged recently.
and i really feel it's very worthy to be shared. :D
I wouldn't say that I was fine throughout the entire time, I mean, after all, I am still a hormonal teenager trying to piece my life together and find meaning in life before I turn 20. My friends didn't really console me. Maybe because they were too busy or couldn't be bothered or they simply didn't understand the situation to be able to talk to me. But I don't blame them. I always knew somehow I had to rely on myself. I had to stand up on my own. I guess you could say I felt empty and hopeless. In the end though, I figured everything out on my own and grew stronger. It was hell I must reluctantly admit, but I believe the only way to really understand and grasp the acceptance of the pure, raw emotions any human can possibly possess which tugs at our most vulnerable qualities, is to fall. Fall so fucking horribly where you are able to feel the bruises and cuts, where you can feel your heart beating so vehemently you could literally feel the blood flowing through your veins. That's when you feel the emotions; the truest, most inexplicable emotions anyone can feel.
Everything changes eventually. That’s just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there- disappear, you know? It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach. It feels like your heart stopped beating. It feels like a dream; you know the one when you’re falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it’s all out of control, you can’t trust anything anymore? And the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is: No one will be able to break your heart like that again. But what I realized is that it’s a good thing to go through heartache at one point or another in your lifetime. When you get to the healing part of this, you will have so much love to share with someone. You will be able to appreciate someone in ways even you cannot even understand. You will be so much stronger than you were before. I know how much this sucks right now and I know it seems unfair, but when it’s all said and done with it will all make sense. All this pain you are going through at this moment will eventually teach you some of the greatest lessons in life you will ever need to learn. Maybe that’s what it all comes down to: Love. Not as a surge of passion, but a choice to commit to someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice says more about love than never having a choice to make at all. Sometimes you just have to realize that you can’t have it all. You can’t fix what you’ve done. You need to move on and try to be happy. Even if it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.
You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate, or bad luck, or bad choices. Or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world, that’s just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question, what’s worse- not getting everything you wished for, or getting it but finding it’s not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time, and the rest of your life starts right now.
What I've definitely learned is that time heals all wounds. Maybe not entirely, but we do move on in the end. It still hurts when I think about things. More in fact. But I believe everything happens for a reason and that if someday, somehow we were destined, it would all piece itself up to how it should be.
today i also "rescued" a kitten back to school.
i'm really unsure if i've done the right thing.
but whats done is done and the kitten is currently a resident in tp saa.
i hope it survives. :x
pray hard i dun fall even sicker.
and i really feel it's very worthy to be shared. :D
I wouldn't say that I was fine throughout the entire time, I mean, after all, I am still a hormonal teenager trying to piece my life together and find meaning in life before I turn 20. My friends didn't really console me. Maybe because they were too busy or couldn't be bothered or they simply didn't understand the situation to be able to talk to me. But I don't blame them. I always knew somehow I had to rely on myself. I had to stand up on my own. I guess you could say I felt empty and hopeless. In the end though, I figured everything out on my own and grew stronger. It was hell I must reluctantly admit, but I believe the only way to really understand and grasp the acceptance of the pure, raw emotions any human can possibly possess which tugs at our most vulnerable qualities, is to fall. Fall so fucking horribly where you are able to feel the bruises and cuts, where you can feel your heart beating so vehemently you could literally feel the blood flowing through your veins. That's when you feel the emotions; the truest, most inexplicable emotions anyone can feel.
Everything changes eventually. That’s just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there- disappear, you know? It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach. It feels like your heart stopped beating. It feels like a dream; you know the one when you’re falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it’s all out of control, you can’t trust anything anymore? And the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is: No one will be able to break your heart like that again. But what I realized is that it’s a good thing to go through heartache at one point or another in your lifetime. When you get to the healing part of this, you will have so much love to share with someone. You will be able to appreciate someone in ways even you cannot even understand. You will be so much stronger than you were before. I know how much this sucks right now and I know it seems unfair, but when it’s all said and done with it will all make sense. All this pain you are going through at this moment will eventually teach you some of the greatest lessons in life you will ever need to learn. Maybe that’s what it all comes down to: Love. Not as a surge of passion, but a choice to commit to someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice says more about love than never having a choice to make at all. Sometimes you just have to realize that you can’t have it all. You can’t fix what you’ve done. You need to move on and try to be happy. Even if it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.
You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate, or bad luck, or bad choices. Or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world, that’s just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question, what’s worse- not getting everything you wished for, or getting it but finding it’s not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time, and the rest of your life starts right now.
What I've definitely learned is that time heals all wounds. Maybe not entirely, but we do move on in the end. It still hurts when I think about things. More in fact. But I believe everything happens for a reason and that if someday, somehow we were destined, it would all piece itself up to how it should be.
today i also "rescued" a kitten back to school.
i'm really unsure if i've done the right thing.
but whats done is done and the kitten is currently a resident in tp saa.
i hope it survives. :x
pray hard i dun fall even sicker.
sometimes your goals changes.
and now, i'm really tempted to see new lights.
but i dun want new lights to be an excuse for past mistakes.
and now, i'm really tempted to see new lights.
but i dun want new lights to be an excuse for past mistakes.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
S.O.S
three days of TPRAWKS.
omfg i'm so tired because i have school tomorrow. ):
really thinking of skipping. -.-
lately, i've been thinking about so many possibilities that may occur in my life.
as much as i think that i may need some new stuff in my life,
i'm wondering how easy it has suddenly become for me to think about bidding the old goodbye.
yet it just makes me feel so fickle minded.
which, DOES NOT make anything better at all.
so to say, i'm a girl and may be given that privilage to be fickle minded.
but i'm too afraid of losing what i could have had then to try and achieve something that may NEVER be mine.
thus, it's time to tame my heart.
and to think less.
because having to make up my mind right now, feels so unnecessary.
omfg i'm so tired because i have school tomorrow. ):
really thinking of skipping. -.-
lately, i've been thinking about so many possibilities that may occur in my life.
as much as i think that i may need some new stuff in my life,
i'm wondering how easy it has suddenly become for me to think about bidding the old goodbye.
yet it just makes me feel so fickle minded.
which, DOES NOT make anything better at all.
so to say, i'm a girl and may be given that privilage to be fickle minded.
but i'm too afraid of losing what i could have had then to try and achieve something that may NEVER be mine.
thus, it's time to tame my heart.
and to think less.
because having to make up my mind right now, feels so unnecessary.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
never say never by the fray
Monday, October 26, 2009
99 times.
okay.
i can't seem to unscrew my tongue stud. -.-
feeling like it's some stupid joke now.
dang!
today was a really blue monday. ):
freaking coughed out blood with the damn phelgm.
then i kind of thought i was gonna dieeee.
but then again, it's really just a matter of TOO HEATINESS.
i feel so weak.
just one week of school, i fall sick just because i had too much salad bar.
i used to eat salad bar EVERYDAY and i gained weight and not fall sick ):
sad-ed.
i can't seem to unscrew my tongue stud. -.-
feeling like it's some stupid joke now.
dang!
today was a really blue monday. ):
freaking coughed out blood with the damn phelgm.
then i kind of thought i was gonna dieeee.
but then again, it's really just a matter of TOO HEATINESS.
i feel so weak.
just one week of school, i fall sick just because i had too much salad bar.
i used to eat salad bar EVERYDAY and i gained weight and not fall sick ):
sad-ed.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
1st week of school = sloth life.
it never felt so good to go back to school. :D
but this semester seems so little yet so hectic!
my timetable seems so free but there is really way too much to do during the break times. ):
so naturally, stress levels going up leads to a really really tired me.
anyway, there is a new word from ris low.
it is called shingz!
so funneh that we couldn't get enough of it yesterday in lounge.
i'm really feeling too lazy to blog ):
falling sick makes it even worse.
i wish the weather will turn good and the ulcers will heal.
but this semester seems so little yet so hectic!
my timetable seems so free but there is really way too much to do during the break times. ):
so naturally, stress levels going up leads to a really really tired me.
anyway, there is a new word from ris low.
it is called shingz!
so funneh that we couldn't get enough of it yesterday in lounge.
i'm really feeling too lazy to blog ):
falling sick makes it even worse.
i wish the weather will turn good and the ulcers will heal.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
secrets.
i'll try my best to be as normal as i can.